this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
