Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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