it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
