how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
