Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
