I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
