I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
