The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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