We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
