Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
