I wanna passion pit in your ass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
