he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
