There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
