The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
