fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
