people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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