Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm passing your future prison.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
