im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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