i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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