Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
