a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
