Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
