Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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