Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
