i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
