Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
