I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
