i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
