i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
