Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
