so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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