oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
