these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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