doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
