I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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