Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
barbara walters just said penis...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
