Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
