I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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