We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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