I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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