U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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