We won't sleep together?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my phone needs a breathalizer
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I supernannyed him into submission
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
