hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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