so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize