honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
