Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize