the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
