I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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