I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize