Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
