I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
