I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
