you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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