I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
