MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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