so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
