I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
