I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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