Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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