bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
