well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
